By Kendall Carlis
A friend of mine recommended that I read Why Men Love Bitches after hearing about my recent breakup. She claimed that this was the one thing that helped her through her last bad breakup.
Honestly, I was reluctant to put my pride aside and start reading a relationship self-help book. But what do you know, call me bold… or humble because that same day I found myself at Books-A-Million in the “self-help aisle” under “relationships” searching for Why Men Love Bitches.
Why Men Love Bitches is a how-to guide for women who need to hold their own in a relationship.
First off, the author Sherry Argov assures that the term “BITCH” is not to be taken seriously as it compliments the humorous tone of this book. A “BITCH” in this book is a woman who is bold, independent, confident, and maintains her dignity by being a Babe In Total Control of Herself.
I have yet to regret exploring the self-help aisle that day. As I came to the end of the book, I didn’t know whether to be relieved that the relationship problems I had were familiar to most women, or to be angry that all these women were in a relationship with my Ex too?! (JOKING).
Sherry Argov does a brilliant job of motivating women. She doesn’t encourage readers to get rid of their nice character, but rather to develop a state of mind that allows all women to live by standards they set for themselves. And, most importantly play by their own rules. While in a relationship or not, all should maintain a feeling of confidence, freedom and empowerment.
The book has helped me realize that I don’t have to throw away my nice character to get what I want. I just have to be bold and stick to my own terms. Oh… and I should be a “bitch,” which means I am not going to take shit from anyone.
The book is broken up into 100 attraction principles that help readers hold their own in a relationship. My Top 10 Attraction Principles from Why Men Love Bitches That Helped Me Become A Bold Bitch:
1. Anything a person chases in life runs away. AKA chasing a man around waiting until the day he asks you to be his girlfriend is not living the bitch lifestyle. If you do catch him, first he will use you… and then he’ll run. Sorry Hunny this will only make a man think you are desperate and don’t place a high value on yourself. Let him put in some time and effort.
6. It is your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt. Men like a confident, independent woman. A man may approach you because of your looks, but it is your confidence that will keep him there. Act that way and you’ll have guys lining up around the corner.
9. If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else. Don’t sacrifice your priorities to make anyone else happy. The bitch is the same person throughout her relationship with a man. You can keep your dignity as long as you are self-dependent and know you don’t need to be with a man, you are with him by choice.
28. If he makes you feel insecure, let your insecurity be your guide. Bottom line, if your man makes you feel like you can’t be honest or be yourself around him, then don’t be with him.
30. Any time a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself. Why compete with another woman when he is with you? You have to be secure and show him that you are confident he only wants to be with you. If you don’t trust him, then don’t be with him.
50. The nice girl gives away too much of herself when pleasing him regularly becomes more important than pleasing herself. You can still please your man, in fact, it is encouraged, but do it with self-respect and dignity. Have a limit.
80. The ability to choose how you want to live, and the ability to choose how you want to be treated are the two things that give you more power than any material object ever will. You have to be in control of yourself. Control is power and self-control is crucial in life and in relationships.
98. Be an independent thinker at all times, and ignore anyone who attempts to define you in a limiting way. Don’t waste time on how others try to define you. Define yourself.
99. Truly powerful people don’t explain why they want respect. They simply don’t engage someone who doesn’t give it to them. Respect is not gained through words. You earn your respect by action. So get out there and do something you believe is worthy of respect. Feel good about yourself. Be good to those who deserve your respect and don’t settle for any less in return.
100. The most attractive quality of all is dignity. Don’t lose this.
The reason I recommend this book so highly is just as Sherry Argov put it, “Every woman, at some point, has been there.” No matter what phase of life you are in, if you are single, in a relationship, engaged or married, this book is a fun read that kept me laughing and ultimately brought me back to what’s most important, “The value I put on myself.”
Want to find more books by this author? Visit: Sherry Argov's website.
Thank you to my very good friend Kendall for sharing her thoughts and wisdom with Call Me Bold. Kendall recommended this book to me while I was also having boy issues. I found it helped me navigate all relationships, not just one with the opposite sex. I hope you all let your inner bitch shine.
Always, Maddi B.